Are you dating or Are you Kickin-it?

Pastor Horry

Everything that we do in life should have purpose, including dating. God created everything in life to have purpose, including mankind and all of his activities and all of his relationships. Dating is a term that should be defined by a purpose and that purpose should be marriage. Let me share with you that if the person you are dating has no plans to marry you or you’re not interested in marrying them within the next 12-18 months, yes there must be a time frame, you guys are not dating, rather you guys are just “kickin-it.” Dating is just an acceptable term that sounds better to a couple, particularly the female, than “kickin-it”; however, the truth of the matter is, if a couple does not have marriage in their immediate future, the correct terminology for their relationship is “kickin-it”. Believe me, if we started calling these relationships like it is, most would be offended and perhaps end the relationship. That being said, now you will be able to see and or understand my stand on casual dating.

There is no such thing, especially for Christians. God made us sexual and sensual beings and we are incapable of carrying on an exclusive relationship with the member of the opposite sex and not engage in sexual sin. 1 Corinthians 7:9 says, “but if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn”. The word “contain” here means to control their sexual lust or desire for one another. God is saying it is better to marry and be in the will of God than to commit sexual sin and be out of the will of God. You cannot habitually commit any sin and remain in the will of God. Galatians 6:7-8 says, “be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.”

Dating with purpose has little significance in our society today. We have teenagers dating and we know that it has no purpose of marriage within their immediate future because they have not completed High School and most of them are still in Elementary School. What parent would want their child to marry while still in Elementary, Middle or High School? A parent that has love for their child would never allow this. It would be insane! So, why do some parents allow and even support them in their dating at their young age? Teenage pregnancy would vanish if parents took the same stand as God, yes “God”. There is nowhere in scripture where God supports dating. So if God does not support it, we should not participate in it. Parents are only setting themselves up to be premature grandparents and teenagers are only setting themselves up to be ill-prepared parents. “Young ladies”, let me warn you, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of “baby-mama-drama”. Not all boys, but most, will leave you to fend for yourself or worst, he will deny that the baby is his which will frustrate you, because that same boy probably was telling you that he loved you, only to get you to have sex with him.

Let’s be honest here. The only reason people date one another is to have sex. If you take sex out of the equation, no one will want to date. We have replaced the purpose of dating with having “sex”. We need realize that the purpose of dating is for “marriage”. Unmarried sex is against God and marriage is of God. We must get back to obeying God. It is alright to go “on a date” with a member of the opposite sex but don’t start “dating” that individual unless you are planning to marry them soon.  So now young people, as well as older, are you dating or are you just “kickin-it”? A sure way to know which direction you’re headed is: If you plan to marry the individual you call yourself “dating” within the 12-18 months (or less), you can consider yourself “dating”. However, if you have no intent on marrying this person, you are just “kickin-it”. To thine own self be true, let’s call it like it is.